Perspective

I want you to know the truth
Despite the throbbing pain
Of choosing evil in the past
And knowing I'm to blame

For I hurt so many people
Some I didn't even know
But there is still some meaning
And I hope that it will show

I broke myself upon my sin
He claimed me there and drew me in
His dying breath was for my life
And He is all that's true and bright

Please recognize His beauty
Do not think it comes from me
For I'm shattered in the hands
Of a master Craftsman, see?

Aware

If it weren't for all the shadows hiding now within
If it were not for the past and overriding sin
Then I might believe today
That I was somehow good enough
But the truth of the matter
Is that veneer is just a bluff.

It's perfection that nobody can achieve
The untouched state of purity we no longer believe
And it's true now that we seem to think that we are almost right
And that when we're in the shadows
We're standing in the light.

I want to understand the difference
Between me now and then
And know that I regret the way I acted
For I hurt so many people, even some I didn't know.
And it's painful to remember
Or to speak or think it's so.

I was wrong then, in believing
That my way was right and good
I was sinning in my motives
More than I thought I could
And I took advantage of a chance I thought I'd never have
And I leaped into the arms of sinfulness.

When the light of truth shone on me
And suspended on that flame
I cried out in my anguish
That I was not to blame
I pointed to others
Not to my secret desire
Saying I could not have helped touching the fire.

Slowly truth grew in me
And blazing spread my shame
And over time I realized it clearly was my blame
Gradually I owned it
And finally bowed my knee
And now I hold this anguish tight to me.

I was wrong to choose that path
It was sin I followed there.
And those things I thought I needed
Were not pretty, good, or fair
And I took within my hand what God had withheld from me
Eternally destroying my thought that I was free.

I'm forgiven.
There is no doubt I know
But I'm ridden
By the shape of shame, it grows
And I know that I can't make it right
There's nothing I can do.
Christ's the only answer to all I've put Him through.

He is glorious, pure, and bright and His death-consuming light
Blazes in my sinful past and makes me clean.
And in every place a void grows wider through eternity
And I find Him slowly breaking every pretense in me.

There is too much left of the past
To deny is not the way
I can only hope I'm fading fast
In the pressure of His grace
For I'm often rejecting that all-consuming light
Seeking for some beauty in the night.

I'm surrounded by the truth of what He is
He keeps me close in spite of my blindness.
I will not win, and for that I'm glad
Without His compassion I would be trapped
And I know He has chosen to love me anyway.
He promises to bring a pure day.